mosquito-illustration_2092x1660I went out in the yard earlier today and decided to trim some shrubs. It was very hot and it took me three bottles of water to get through it all. In the midst of all the heat and fatigue, I was also attacked by a savage band of mosquitoes.

The little blood-sucking SOBs that hang around my humble abode are so small that they don’t seem to be much larger than a gnat, but they can kick your ass like Mike Tyson! Working on my last shrub, I began to feel a burning sensation in my legs – looking down, I could see that my ugly legs were black with these little reincarnated Draculas. Into the house I go to grab the rubbing alcohol and put it on my legs. That’s the only thing I’ve found that will stop the itching.

After recovering a bit, I sprayed myself down with some OFF and went about completing my task. Now, my question is: I’ve always been taught that God had a purpose for every creature he made, but why in the hell did he create mosquitoes? I know, I know, Purple Martins are supposed to eat them – but, I don’t have any Purple Martins around my house. If I did have any of those birds around my house and they ate all the mosquitoes, they would weigh 400 pounds and couldn’t get off the ground.

Next time, if there is a next time, when I do yard work; I will saturate myself with repellent before I do the job. However, they say everything will kill you these days – does that include OFF? – Bude lepsi

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